A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A gay man watches football.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What are three things an average teenager cannot live without? Oxygen, Food, and Water. Duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops