What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -14

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's city is in New York New York City

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the black person say to the other black person? Im really white, I just want to fell what its like to be black.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

test test

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

thumb_up thumb_down -14

im saul and i love cock

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops