How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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get in the car.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops