What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Ms Leong Sux

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops