why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Why did? Yes

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops