Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

Rebecca Black.

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

What are annoying? Ads.

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

You had better thumbs up this post.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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