How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

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25

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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Ily bae

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

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1)Where do you find a turtle with no legs? 2)Where? 1)Where you left it. 1)... Knock Knock... 2)Who's there? 1)...Not the turtle...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops