What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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Indians

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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