What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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What's worse than find ten babies in a trash can? Find a baby in ten trash cans.

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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