How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops