Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops