How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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