Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walked into a bar....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I named my son ps2 controller

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men went out for a night on the town, one had too much to drink and was forced to take a cab home.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops