You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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