can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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