Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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