Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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