I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops