Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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