Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops