What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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4 hours later.

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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