How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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4 hours later.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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You know what's a joke? Something Funny

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What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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