Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

You tell me. I have amnesia.

What do black people and white people have in common? They are both mentioned in this box

What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

A baby seal walks into a club.

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

Asians look like they have down syndrome.

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

How come grilled cheese?

A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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