What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A skinny white prisoner dropped his soap in the shower. So the big, ripped, black prisoner who was showering next to him picked up the soap and handed it back to him. The skinny white prisoner said "Thank you" and continued with his shower.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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joke

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Female Orgasms

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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Jimmy Saville

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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