Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Brain fart

thumb_up thumb_down +14

aa

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you get when you use heroin aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ehh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops