If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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the sky is green no it is not

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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how may i help you

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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