Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Penis

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Justin Beiber

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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