man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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