How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

"i see", said the blind man ... ...to his deaf wife... ...while his crippled children jumped for joy....

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

kathryn atkins

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

Obama being reelected.

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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