How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Whats funny about a kid with down syndrome q: a lot of things, like his face

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whats up and also down? your mum

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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