Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm going as the joker for halloween

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops