A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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William wright is Gay

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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4 1/2

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler, who? Be quiet and hand over your Jews!

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops