copy me and i will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Banana Hamock.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops