When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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