What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...