Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Ol-ive

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops