How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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womens rights.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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An owl and a squirrel where siting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl then turned to the squirrel and said nothing... cos owls can't talk. The owl then eats the bird because it is a bird of prey

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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