What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops