Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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whats polish and black a polish black person

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Small Penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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