What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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