Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Men

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops