Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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