Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Dislike this.

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops