How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

911 jokes are just plane wrong

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

How do you end a sentence

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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