A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

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adam hodgson !

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u r stupid! y? cuz u took the time 2 look at are jokes! haha lol

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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