A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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whats hard, its not what you think a penis

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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