What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Justin beiber's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the white kid go to school? Because it was Martin Luther King day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops