Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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You know what is totally sick? A person with stage II cancer.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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