Nobody cares maddie!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roes are red violets are blue we have nothing in common so baby were through

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the dead guy say to the other guy? "You murdered me." How did he hear the dead guy? He was dead too.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A woman was talking to Ghandi. "Oh wait" He says "I can't, My kids are home"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Me - "Wanna hear something that will make me laugh?" *giggles* friend - "Sure." teehee if anyone gets it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops