A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Politics

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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WNBA

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your P0rnagraphy to the public??? true. P0rnagraphy is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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a. why? b. because

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Why did the man go to the doctors? He was concerned about his health.

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why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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