A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Obama

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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womens rights

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Albino African Americans

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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