What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

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Refrigerator

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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Latvia isn't a joke

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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