How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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